Why "Getting Over It" Is the Worst Advice You'll Ever Hear

The Revolutionary Approach: Connection, Not Closure

When Michael lost his German Shepherd, Lexie, to cancer at age nine, he followed all the standard advice. He joined a pet loss support group, allowed himself to cry, and tried to "accept the reality" that Lexie was gone forever. Three months later, he was more depressed than ever.

He was doing everything right according to the grief books but the more he tried to 'accept' that Lexie was gone, the worse he felt. He told me, “It was like I was trying to erase her from my life, and something deep inside me was resisting that process."

Michael's breakthrough came when he came to me for a reading. I didn't tell Michael to "move on." Instead, I suggested a revolutionary idea: what if his relationship with Lexie wasn't over but was simply entering a new phase? What if, instead of working to sever their connection, he focused on transforming it?

This approach, what I will call “continuing bonds” has shown remarkable results for grieving pet parents. By using this framework of seeing signs of / from them, speaking to them, and feeling their presence, it recognizes these experiences as natural, healthy, and potentially healing.

The animal-human bond doesn't end at death. It transforms. When we recognize this and work with that transformation rather than against it, we create space for profound healing and spiritual growth.

The Spiritual Mechanics of Ongoing Connection

For those who haven't experienced it, the idea of maintaining a connection with a deceased pet might sound like wishful thinking or denial. But for countless pet parents, these connections are tangible, meaningful, and transformative.

Dreams where they visit us are not just manifestations of denial of the animal passing over the Rainbow Bridge. They are remarkably common, though rarely discussed in mainstream grief support settings. I’ve seen countless cases where people report meaningful connections with deceased pets through dreams, synchronicities, sensory experiences (feeling their pet jump on the bed, hearing their distinctive bark or meow), and what I call "energy signatures"—the distinctive feeling of a particular animal's presence.

These aren't hallucinations or wishful thinking; these experiences have recognizable patterns across cultures and belief systems. They often provide specific information the person couldn't have known or contain elements that are later verified. They represent a genuine continuation of the bond in a different form.

The revolutionary approach to pet loss focuses on cultivating and working with these connections rather than dismissing them. It recognizes that our relationships with beloved animals can continue to evolve after physical death, providing comfort, guidance, and ongoing companionship in a transformed state.

Five Steps to Transform Pet Loss into Spiritual Connection

If you're struggling with pet loss, here are five foundational practices for transforming grief into meaningful ongoing connection:

1. Create Sacred Space

Designate a specific area in your home for connecting with your animal companion. This might include photos, toys, a pawprint, fur clippings, or other meaningful items. This space becomes your meeting ground—a physical location that supports your spiritual connection. Visit this space regularly, speaking to your pet as you would if they were physically present.

2. Develop Ritual Practices

Rituals create bridges between physical and spiritual realms. These might include lighting a candle while saying your pet's name, writing letters to them, or creating art that honours your relationship.

3. Remain Open to Signs

Many people report receiving signs from deceased pets—from dreams and synchronicities to physical manifestations like finding fur in impossible places or hearing their distinctive sounds. Instead of dismissing these experiences, approach them with curious openness. Keep a journal documenting these connections, looking for patterns or messages.

4. Practice Meditation and Quieting

Our animals communicated with us beyond words while physically present. This non-verbal connection can continue and even deepen after their transition. Regular meditation creates the quiet internal conditions needed to perceive subtle communications. Begin with just five minutes daily of sitting quietly, focusing on your breathing, and holding your pet in your awareness.

5. Join Communities That Honour Spiritual Connection

Find groups that support rather than pathologize ongoing bonds with deceased pets. These communities provide validation and guidance for experiences that mainstream grief support may dismiss. Look for terms like "animal spirituality," "pet mediumship," or "rainbow bridge connections" rather than conventional pet loss support.

These practices aren't about denying physical death or avoiding grief. The grief is real and needs expression, but these practices transform grief from an endless void into a bridge to a new kind of relationship. They honour the reality that love doesn't end when physical presence does.

The Transformative Power of Continued Connection

For Michael, who lost his German Shepherd Lexie, embracing this revolutionary approach completely transformed his grief experience.

He told me that once he stopped trying to 'get over' Lexie and instead focused on continuing their relationship in a new form, everything changed.

He still misses her physical presence every day, but he no longer feels that crushing emptiness. Their bond continues. It's different now, more subtle in some ways but deeper in others. He has had experiences he can't explain rationally, moments where Lexies presence is undeniable. These connections have become precious gifts rather than 'symptoms' he needs to overcome.

Michael's experience reflects the core promise of this revolutionary approach: not an end to grief, but its transformation into a different kind of connection—one that honours the unique and sacred bond you shared with your animal companion.

The next time someone suggests you should "get over" your pet's death or "move on," remember that conventional wisdom often fails to recognize the spiritual dimensions of the animal-human bond. Your ongoing connection isn't denial or pathology—it's a natural evolution of a love that transcends physical boundaries.

Your relationship with your beloved animal companion doesn't need to end. It can transform into something new, a continuing bond that provides comfort, guidance, and ongoing companionship in a different form. This transformation doesn't happen automatically; it requires intention, practice, and often guidance from those who understand the spiritual mechanics involved. But for those willing to walk this path, the rewards are immeasurable: not just healing from loss, but the discovery of a connection that transcends death itself.

The revolutionary truth about pet loss is simple yet profound: You don't need to get over it. You need to grow through it, allowing your relationship to transform rather than terminate. In doing so, you may discover that the love you shared with your animal companion continues to be one of life's most precious gifts—a bond that even death cannot sever.